It was 2010, and my husband and I had been gifted free tickets to a faith leaders’ conference in Hawaii. I was three months pregnant with our second baby, and I was thrilled to spend a few days learning and resting in a beautiful place.
While so many of the details of the trip were taken care of for us in advance, preparation to leave home was still one of the hardest things I had done as a mom. Our oldest son was only 11 months old, and we had never spent one night away from him. This was going to be four nights!
At the time, we were building a house, and my in-laws graciously invited us to stay with them until it was ready. They loved spending time with their grandson, and I knew they would take wonderful care of him while we were away. Still, I worried about leaving him behind.
Would he feel confused or abandoned? Would he be alright? I was dealing with more than just concerned momma thoughts — I was reeling from the impact of undiagnosed Postpartum Anxiety, which caused my mind to spin in chronic fear.
As we were preparing to leave, I walked into my mother-in-law’s kitchen and began to go through the printed care sheet I had left behind for her to follow. Doctor’s names, phone numbers, our flight, hotel, and travel information all filled the sheet she’d likely never even need to reference.
When we finished going through my list, I asked her one final and very important question. “Do you promise to worry about him the way I worry about him?” She had watched me be a momma there in her home for three months. She knew that no one worried about my son the way I did. She smiled with warmth and compassion. “Oh, Becky, I can’t promise that.”
I wanted to call the trip off immediately. How could she say she wouldn’t worry about him the way I worried about him? Worrying is what kept him safe! Worrying is what kept anything bad from happening to him. Worrying and looking ahead to make sure that there’d never be a scenario where he wasn’t okay was how I cared for him. If she loved him, she’d worry about him — or so I believed.
It took me a decade to understand just how much I needed Jesus to bring healing to my heart, mind, and body. The mental and emotional load of motherhood caused strain to my spirit.
- I craved peace, security, and rest, but I felt as though the only way to receive those would be to worry, hold everything together, and rush to get everything done so I could rest.
Like many Christian mommas, I knew the promises in the Word of God. I believed that Jesus loved me and my kids. I believed He wanted to help me. And I believed the Word said that He is our provider and protector. I knew that 1 Peter 5:7 encourages us:
Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.
These were facts I believed, but I was struggling to live them.
I wanted to gain rest and maintain control. I wanted to gain peace and have the final say in how my life unfolded. I wanted to feel secure, but I was holding everything together. And it was there in His kindness that the Lord began to show me that great faith isn’t made up of how hard you hold onto Him in trying times. Moreover, it’s how freely you can lean into Him and let go, trusting that you and those you love are safely held by a good God.
So if you’re in a similar place, here is some truth to meditate on today.
- If you’re wanting peace, but trying to worry your family safer, Jesus invites us to meditate on these words He spoke in Luke 12:25-26,
Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?
Worry has never protected your family, but it has stolen your peace. Today, remember that prayer is your greatest weapon. Use it to connect to the heart of the Father and ask Him to restore peace in your heart, mind, and body.
- If you’ve been running your heart ragged, trying to hold everything together and ensure you or your children never face any trouble, consider this promise Jesus shared in John 16:33:
In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.
Yes. Trouble will come. Jesus said it was true, but He also made another promise long before He spoke those words recorded in John 16:33. The Psalmist writes in 91:15 that the Lord will be with those who call on Him, even in the middle of that trouble.
He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.
This is the gift: His promised presence in the middle of every situation, especially those that feel outside of our control or the reach of our own arms.
- And if you’re feeling rushed and unrested, stretched beyond what you can hold and still trying to put one foot in front of the other because there is always more to do, consider your present position with Jesus as described in Isaiah 40:11:
He tends His flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them close to His heart; He gently leads those that have young.
Carried close to His heart is exactly where you and your children are at this exact moment. His safe, strong, and secure arms will hold you from now right into eternity, and it’s in those arms that you will find Healing Rest.
Let’s Pray:
Lord, my friend is likely tired. She’s probably carrying more than anyone realizes. That unseen burden — whether it is physical, mental, or emotional — can feel like too much at times, especially because You didn’t ask her to carry it in her own strength. Right now, I ask that You’d help her pass it all into Your nail pierced hands which prove Your love and lead us toward peace, security and healing rest in You. We ask in Jesus’s name, amen.
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Written for Devotionals Daily by Becky Thompson, author of Healing Rest.
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Your Turn
Are you weighed down with worry today? Are you wrestling with all the things that could go wrong or spinning trying to keep it all together? Breathe this in today: You’re held by our good God. He is your provider and protector. He’s our Overcomer, so give Him everything that’s on your heart and mind today and rest. ~ Devotionals Daily