Fred Rogers was the creator of Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood, a children’s television show that began airing in 1968 and ran until 2000 (895 episodes). In 1997 Mr. Rogers won the Lifetime Achievement Award, an Emmy Award presented in recognition of the significant lifetime achievements of an individual in the American television industry, and he gave an acceptance speech like no other. You can watch it on YouTube. Here’s a portion of what he said that evening:
So many people have helped me to come to this night. Some of you are here. Some are far away. Some are even in Heaven. All of us have special ones who have loved us into being. Would you take, along with me, ten seconds to think of the people who have helped you become who you are? Those who have cared about you and wanted what was best for you in life. Ten seconds of silence. I’ll watch the time.
Quiet fell like a warm blanket over the glamorous audience in the Pasadena Civic Auditorium. For ten seconds of live TV, solemn silence was the only sound that aired. And then he said,
Whomever you’ve been thinking about, how pleased they must be to know the difference you feel they’ve made.
The video shows actors and actresses tearing up during and after those ten seconds of silence. If you try the exercise yourself, just ten seconds, you’ll see why. We are who we are today because of the people who have loved us along the way — not because of our achievements. And not because we earned their love but simply because they gave us love as a gift, no strings attached.
Here’s our question to you: Who do you know who, given this ten-second exercise, will think of you? If you’re married, you hope it’s your spouse. If you’re a parent, you hope it’s your children. But who else will think of you as “loving them into being”? Maybe the more important question is this: How are you doing when it comes to loving other people unconditionally?
Before you answer, let’s define what we mean. It has to do with motive. You can be a giver and still expect something in return. We call it giving “with strings attached.” In other words, there is an expectation connected to the giving. The origin of the idiom no strings attached is tied to eighteenth-century fabric merchants who would mark flaws in woven cloth by tying small strings to the bottoms of the bolts with flaws. When a tailor or dressmaker needed flawless cloth, he or she would ask the merchant to provide them with fabric “with no strings attached.” The custom persists today. And so does the practice of giving with an expectation that we’ll be getting something in return. True self-giving involves no “this for that,” no quid pro quo.
- True self-giving is offering the best of who you are to others, and it comes with no strings attached.
So let us ask again: How are you doing when it comes to loving others without expecting anything in return? We’re not asking as a ploy. This isn’t a trick or a guilt play. We’re asking because we know it’s difficult to love without conditions. Doing so is the very height of emotional and interpersonal health.
Is it even possible?
Abusive relationships are an exception to this, of course. There must be conditions and limits on how much a person gives before it becomes unhealthy and, in fact, no longer loving. It’s important to underscore this point. But what we’re focused on is bringing the best version of you to your relationships. On occasion, that requires boundaries or even escape. But it always requires the best kind of love — the kind of love Jesus gave. No strings attached.
But how?
Truth be told, you can’t give what you don’t have. This is precisely why we want you to stop trying to earn God’s love and receive it. Only then can you genuinely offer the best kind of love to your family and friends and even strangers.
We resonate with theologian Karl Barth, who is known to have said, “Laughter is the closest thing to the grace of God.” Don’t you want more unrestrained and uproarious grace in your life? Don’t you want spontaneous moments of grace with others? The key is to first fully receive — not achieve — God’s grace in your own heart. Only then can you truly give it to others.
Excerpted with permission from Bad Thoughts: A Preacher and a Shrink's Guide to Reclaiming Your Mind and Soul by Judah Smith & Les Parrott, copyright Judah Smith and Les Parrott.
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Your Turn
When was the last time you loved with no strings attached? When was the last time you loved like Jesus? Spend a few moments thinking about and praying for the people in your life who have helped you become who you are and ask the Lord to help you be that kind of person to someone else… someone who loves like Jesus! ~ Devotionals Daily