I Don’t Have to Trust Myself

I’ve grappled with this thought for years: I need to trust God more. Yet time and time again, I find myself relying on my own ability to remember to trust Him. I question how it all truly works and how to genuinely increase my trust in God. Is it as simple as prayerfully declaring my trust?

And if so, what comes next? What about when it feels like nothing changes after that declaration — when I say “God, I trust You!” but don’t experience any change? No wonder we might give up or succumb to the idea that trusting God is for the spiritually elite. I’ll just keep listening to their sermons and keep trying, or stop trying, and just get pretty good at pretending.

Is this you? It has been me.

Often when people come across a profound solution to their spiritual problems, a subconscious thought comes: This is the answer I’ve been looking for. I will give it a try! From there they make a conscious decision to change. They think, I will stop worrying about this issue, or I will stop being anxious, or I will stop doing this thing and that thing, or I will try to pray more when I feel overwhelmed. However, they make these decisions without going to God at all. We must go to God.

To trust God is not a onetime decision…

it’s a resolve to open your heart in the relationship continually, to come out of hiding with how you really feel — whether you’re disappointed that you’re not as far along in your faith as you think you should be, or you don’t think you’ll ever change, or you’re angry with yourself or feeling guilty because this Christian faith / trusting God thing doesn’t seem to be working for you. But I don’t mean that you should just abstractly “come out of hiding.” What I mean is that you should take time to say those things to God, to tell Him (like out loud) what you’re feeling, how you’re afraid, how you doubt Him and yourself, how you aren’t sure you’re even going to be able to change. We must take the time to tell those things to God. These thoughts and feelings are in your heart, and God is raising them to the surface. Whatever is felt or experienced in the heart is precisely what can be brought to God (though not necessarily quickly solved by God) and entrusted to Him. That’s trusting in the Lord! But it works only if you share with Him. Word by word. Thought by thought. Remember: double knowledge.

The more you know yourself, the more you can know Him. Let your knowledge of Him lead you to become more aware of yourself. Then share yourself with Him.

When we’re faced with a direction like “Trust in the Lord with all your heart,” our hearts must be addressed because our hearts are what God wants to transform — the very stuff and thoughts and emotions that just might be the opposite of all the good behavior we’re trying to do without Him. Maybe you’re thinking, God, I don’t want to trust You because I’m more comfortable figuring it out for myself, or Trusting You feels lazy, like I’m not willing to work, or I don’t want to trust You because it’s really hard for me to trust anyone. Plenty of people have bought into the notion that “God only helps those who help themselves,” which is, of course, diametrically opposed to John 15:5:

Apart from Me you can do nothing.

And this, my friends, is why I wrote this book.

I’ve recently (finally) understood that God wants to do all of life with us. He doesn’t just save His presence for our eternal salvation and then expect us to grow ourselves by ourselves.

I remember being a junior in high school and assessing how “close to God” I was in relation to how well I was doing at my own spiritual disciplines. I was doing so much of the Christian life without Him. I relied on my effort and knowledge over faith and trust. I’d find forgiveness from God in my time of need but then feel the complete weight and burden of a broken relationship with a friend and somehow miss out on doing any part of that relational issue with God.

Trusting God doesn’t happen at the moment when we realize it’s something good to do; it’s available when we think about the fact that we don’t want to, when we’re lacking a belief that anything will change, or when we wonder whether God hears or cares about our prayers in the first place.

Every chapter (of this book) is meant to get you to go to God in relationship and, in doing so, say yes to His kind invitation to trust in Him with all your heart. You don’t have to do a single thing alone.

Excerpted with permission from Relaxed: Walking with the One Who Is Not Worried about a Thing by Megan Fate Marshman, copyright Megan Fate Marshman.

* * *

Your Turn

You don’t have to trust yourself. That’s too much of a burden for anyone to handle. God is the One in whom our trust is safe. He cares, He hears, and He will be with us through ever moment of our lives. So, relax! He’s in control! ~ Devotionals Daily