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It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way Week 4 — The Four Steps of Restoration

It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way Week 4 — The Four Steps of Restoration

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. — James 5:16a ESV

When there are places in our lives that aren’t just broken but are completely shattered, God can take the dust from our shattering and He can bring something brand new out of it. ~ Lysa

Welcome to week four of the It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way Online Bible Study with Lysa TerKeurst! I can’t believe we’re already more than half-way through!

How many times have I broken the basic rules of relationship? How about you? I think sometimes it’s easy to slide into an entitled, foolish place where we believe we can do whatever we want and the other person just has to be ok with us. No consequences. No hurt feelings. No damage done. No need for restoration because everything should be fine without repentance. But, that is never true, is it? It’s not true between us and God and it’s not true between us and other image bearers.

Probably the biggest hurdle in repairing and restoring broken relationships is the most insulting one of all. We must face the fact that we have to care and right now we don’t. For restoration to happen, we have to actually care.

We have to care that we caused pain. We must see the suffering and hurt and feel the ache of blame and shame and allow it to pinch and pierce our hearts so that we look at the harm we’ve done with true remorse. We must feel the isolation that our behavior has caused and accept responsibility. You would think caring would come naturally in relationships, but it doesn’t always work that way!

Just think of King David, “a man after God’s own heart”, after committing adultery with Bathsheba. He did not care. It was like his “care muscle” was anesthetized by his sin.

It took Nathan coming to him months later under compulsion from God (2 Samuel 12:1-25) to share a story that filled David with righteous anger before he realized it was about himself that his “care” woke up. He looked around and realized how much suffering he had caused not only to Uriah (who he murdered), but also to himself and every single person around him.

Sin never just affects the one who sins. Just like the fragments of a bomb that are thrown out wounding all those around it, the shrapnel of personal sin is deeply felt by all those who are close. ~ Lysa

Psalm 51 is David’s public stance that he now cares. And, not only is he repentant but he is calling the nation to corporate repentance. He’s a model for what to do when we’ve done wrong and caused all manner of chaos. It is certainly humbling and painful, but it brings healing to all involved.

It is healing when we come together within the body of Christ not to expose the one confessing but to support them. Then, there can be accountability and empathy from others who really understand what you’re going through. ~ Lysa

The last thing we want in our heart of hearts is to remain locked in sin and shame. The enemy loses when we confess. The enemy loses when we repent. The enemy loses when we share our stories in a safe and mature community of believers who will lock arms with us and encourage us. The enemy loses when relationships are restored through confession, repentance, choosing to change from the inside out, and rebuilding what’s been broken in humility and honesty and with accountability.

They triumphed over [the devil] by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony. — Revelation 12:11

Four Steps of Restoration: Confession, Cleansing, Creating and Calling.

Psalm 51 is for all of us because we all break the rules of relationship. Let’s own it like King David did (Psalm 51:3), confess, be cleansed, ask God to create something new in us and for His glory!

This week in your study:

  1. Watch the video for session four on our study home page or live with other participants … Take notes in your study guide on pages 95-100.
  2. Go through the study questions and activity with your group or on your own on pages 100-107.
  3. Read It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way, Chapters 9-10.
  4. Grab your Bible and enjoy your personal study this week on pages 108-120.
  5. Join the conversation about the study and get to know fellow participants in the private Facebook group!

Scriptures this Week

Psalm 51
James 5:16a
Revelation 12:11
2 Samuel 11-12

Prayer for the Week

Jesus, thank You for the story of David in Holy Scripture. Thank You that we have a model for what to do when we sin and don’t care about the damage we’ve done. Help our “care muscle” to wake up from the anesthesia of sin and help us to walk the four steps of restoration. We love our loved ones, God, and we love You. We don’t want to have strife, and pain, and separation. Help us to bring You glory through making amends for breaking the rules of relationship and help us to honor You in the way that we living moving forward. We love you, Lord. Amen.