Editor's note: Enjoy today's devotion written for Devotionals Daily by Sydney Anne Bennett, author of Fearfully and Wonderfully Broken.
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I haven’t been doing well with my Bible reading lately. I am just so, dang, exhausted.
I wake up tired, usually to the hungry cries of my six-month-old, who has woken me likewise at least three times since I put her to bed last night. By the time I get her settled and lay down, I have to decide: is this the start of my day, or do I try to sleep a little longer?
Lately, I’ve been choosing sleep.
I think, I will take that time with the Lord later today. During nap time. Or tonight. But by the time nap time rolls around, or bedtime, I am so exhausted I am faced with the same decision all over again:
Sleep or Scripture?
At what point does giving myself grace as a tired, busy mother become putting rest above the Lord? At what point am I saying that a few more minutes of sleep will restore me more deeply than time with Him?
A recent conversation with a friend convicted me, and prompted the question:
What do you do when life is so full, your body so weary, and your time so short that you don’t even feel like praying?
This is your plan for your first time back with the Lord, in a season of weary dryness.
1. Pray that God would make you want to pray
I used to think I needed to resolve my feelings before coming to the Lord in prayer. I needed to feel like praying to make the most of it. I needed my heart to be in the right place, before my time with God counted.
Scripture tells us otherwise:
Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. — James 4:8a, KJV
James doesn’t tell you to draw near once you feel ready. Or once your heart is right.
He simply says: draw near.
The truth is, there is seldom a time you need the Lord more than when you feel distant from Him. It starts with getting profoundly raw and honest with God about how you feel, including your lack of feelings.
So first, pray that God would make you want to pray to Him:
Lord, I don’t feel like praying to You. I feel distant. I feel tired. But I want to want You. Please help me want You.
Open my eyes, that I may see wondrous things from Your law. — Psalm 119:18, KJV
2. Don’t overthink the Bible reading
When in doubt, start with Today.
That can mean whatever you need it to.
Were you doing a Bible reading plan? Don’t play catch up. Jump back in on today’s date. Start with Today.
Are you unsure where to even begin? Read Today’s Psalm or Proverb.
Have you been thinking of a verse or passage lately? Go to the chapter and read the whole context.
Jesus’ call to come is designed for the weary:
Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. — Matthew 11:28, KJV
So often we get caught up in being “caught up”.
We fall off Bible reading plan because missed days become an additional burden: I’ll get back to it when I have the time to read everything I missed! With each missed day, the greater that burden becomes until you are so intimidated, you never jump back into the plan at all.
You don’t need to wait till January 1 to start a Bible reading plan. You don’t need to play “catch up” with the Word. Consistency matters far more a reading challenge. Coming back matters far more than a subject category.
C.S. Lewis said that “Relying on God has to begin all over again every day as if nothing had yet been done.”1
Let that thought liberate you, free you of the burden of frustrated intention:
Nothing need be done before! Christ has done it all. You have only to come.
3. Look for a promise, not a feeling
We far over-estimate the need for our own feelings. Sometimes I feel like I need to read “till something stands out” or “till my heart is right” or “till I feel God’s presence.”
But in seasons of exhaustion or dryness, that may not happen right away.
That’s okay. God’s presence is not measured by how strongly we feel Him.
For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. — Hebrews 4:12, KJV
On hard days, I recommend reading not till a feeling, but until a promise.
Stop at the first promise you see. The first one you notice is often the one you need.
Before you close the Bible, use that promise as your closing prayer. Tell it back to the Lord, tell Him why you need it, and ask Him to remind you of it throughout the day:
Lord, help me believe this today. Remind me of it when I forget. Let this be enough for now, and thank you for meeting me here.
Conclusion
Years ago, I read a line from Vaneetha Joy Risner that I still think of often: “Read the Bible even when it feels like eating cardboard. And pray even when it feels like talking to a wall.”2
That might not sound very inspiring, but it is deeply freeing.
It reminds us that the value of our time with God is not found in how it feels, but simply in the fact that we come.
He who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. — Hebrews 11:6, KJV
Your weakness does not disqualify you from communion with God. Your weariness does not drive Him away. Your dry feelings do not quench God’s rich mercies.
My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness. — 2 Corinthians 12:9
God will bless your obedience, not because your obedience wins His favor but because all of your failings and weaknesses have been paid for in Christ.
Refer to this plan as often as you need. If you miss a day, come back. If you miss a month, come back.
Just keep coming.
Watch the Video
1 C. S. Lewis, Letters to Malcolm: Chiefly on Prayer (London: Geoffrey Bles, 1964).
2 Vaneetha Rendall Risner, The Scars That Have Shaped Me: How God Meets Us in Suffering (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2017), 124.
Written for Devotionals Daily by Sydney Anne Bennett, author of Fearfully and Wonderfully Broken.
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Your Turn
Keep coming! No matter what is going on right now in your life that is keeping you away, just keep coming back. Don’t chastise yourself for yesterday. Just start again today! ~ Devotionals Daily