The Epidemic of Anger and The One Thing That Works

Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for you souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light. — Matthew 11:28-29 NIV

For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.

But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. — Matthew 6:14-15 NIV

The ANARCHY Package costs $100 a person. It includes 30 glass items, and 5 pieces of electronic equipment.

And — this is complimentary — a baseball bat to help you smash them!

Or, if you’re on a tight budget, you can opt for the FURY Package, which runs $60, and includes 18 glass items, and 2 electronics.

Those are the going offers at my local “rage room.” There are hundreds of these places around the country, due to what many news outlets call our “epidemic of anger.” You’ve likely noticed the deluge of articles about our anger problem, and the many experts weighing in on what to do about it.

And you may have noticed something else: In all the discussions of “What can we do about our anger?” there’s something the experts rarely mention, as if it doesn’t exist. Sure, they’ll mention maybe trying to relax with some music, or doing yoga, or maybe breathing deeply and counting to ten, in addition to considering plunking down some cash to break stuff… but they’re silent on another option.

And it’s tragic because it’s the only thing that actually works.

It’s called forgiveness.
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Forgiveness, of course, is the way of Jesus. It’s not a side issue. It’s not optional, either. If I’m to follow Him, I have no choice.

Forgiveness means deciding to give up my right to anger, whether I feel it’s justified or not. I don’t forgive other people because they deserve forgiveness. I forgive because I didn’t deserve it.

I can’t wait until someone apologizes; they may never do it. They may never see the damage they’ve done. They may never be sorry. But I don’t do it for them. Forgiveness is my sacrificial gift to God. I do it because I need to be obedient. I do it because I’m so thankful for what He’s done for me.

• Forgiveness is an act of worship.

But there’s still another reason, and it’s one I’m continuing to learn about as I put this into practice: I do it because the Jesus way of life makes for a much, much better life. Forgiveness is the way to have something that so few in our culture actually have, but so many desperately want: Peace.
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Recently, I appeared on “Good Morning America” to talk about this possible approach to what’s become a national mental health issue. One of the interviewers had a very understandable reaction to the whole topic: “But forgiveness is just so hard!”

He’s totally right. Forgiveness is hard. But you know what’s harder? Living a life of unforgiveness.

Jesus’ way of living is more restful. Everything He tells us is for our own good. If we practice His way of living, we’ll carry a lighter load. He knows this. He wants this for us. God is good that way.

There’s another natural, understandable objection, and a question I’m often asked: “Does forgiveness mean I have to stay in relationship with people no matter what?”

The answer is no. But you know what? If you don’t forgive, you will be staying in relationship with them — in your head — for the rest of your life.

• Forgiveness is freedom.

Sure, anger happens. It’s part of being human. But what we do with it? Well, that’s up to us. In Ephesians 4, Paul writes “In your anger do not sin,” and a lot of people remember that part of the verse, but the verse goes on like this: 

Do not let the sun to down while you are still angry. — Ephesians 4:26 NIV

Anger happens, but it’s not something we can live with. It’s like the Ring in Lord of the Rings: We have to drop it in the Cracks of Doom before it kills us. Anger will distort our relationships and even our bodies.

And that shows us, again, that Jesus really is a genius. The way of life He’s giving us isn’t just refreshing and freeing. It’s just plain healthy! Research shows us consistently that chronic anger can lead to high blood pressure, headaches, serious digestion problems, heart issues, and even skin disorders. (I’d seriously love to see research on the physiological effects of chronic gratitude. I bet they’re pretty awesome!)

It’s a better way of living, this Way of Jesus. We shouldn’t be surprised. 

Forgiveness is not impractical. Letting go of anger is not impractical. Jesus is not impractical. In fact, He’s the most practical person who’s ever lived. He knows how we work. He knows how we fall apart, too, and what corrodes and ruins us.

I guess we shouldn’t be surprised that He knows how we can thrive, physically, spiritually, and psychologically. After all, He made us.

Written for Devotionals Daily by Brant Hansen, author of Unoffendable.

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Your Turn

We can have very spicy opinions about forgiveness, right? Some insist they’ll absolutely never forgive because it seems like it lets the offender off the hook. But, the trust is that God commands us to forgive because it’s what’s best not just for them, but for us! Let’s put down the anger, again and again if we have to, and choose forgiveness. Come share your thoughts. We want to hear from you about anger vs. forgiveness! ~ Devotionals Daily