Editor’s note: Enjoy today’s devotion from Making Peace with What I Can’t Control by Lysa TerKeurst. Everyone will be talking about this book this fall! Lysa speaks right to the exhaustion of trying to fix people, trying to prevent the worst from happening, and allowing the decisions of others to rob our peace. Don't miss the Making Peace with What I Can't Control Online Bible Study starting November 16th! Grab a friend and sign up today!
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I heard something profound in the sermon at my church the other day. My pastor, Joby Martin, said the definition of a “fool” is “one who disconnects their actions from the consequences that will follow.” When I first heard that, I thought, I wish this person in my life who is making choices that cause me so much angst could hear this!
But then it hit me squarely between the eyes—this definition was for me. I was disconnecting from what it was actually costing me to live in and react to all this fear. I was so consumed by thinking about the consequences this loved one could face that I wasn’t factoring in what this was doing to me. And the saddest part is that I was the one making foolish choices, wearing myself out trying to fix people and circumstances, and feeling frustrated with God because He was not helping me in the way I thought He should. The foolish one was me. I needed to be reminded of Proverbs 19:3:
A person’s own foolishness leads him astray, yet his heart rages against the Lord. — CSB
Moments of release are important. They help us survive. But we can’t merely release our grip and stay in fear. Releasing alone is not enough. We also must transfer the weight of the outcome to God through the act of surrender.
Now, I want you to take the same deep breath I need to take when I hear the word surrender. Surrendering doesn’t mean that I have to give up on my loved one or completely abandon them in the midst of their current situation.
As we take a look at surrender, let’s first outline what we aren’t saying.
Surrender is not
• ignoring reality
• bypassing pain
• avoiding hard work
• abandoning your post or being irresponsible
• giving up this person to worst-¬case scenarios
• letting yourself get swallowed up by the circumstances of this day
• giving in to the feeling that your circumstances are
• hopeless
Surrender is
• yielding your need to control the outcome
• laying down the illusion that you know best
• releasing your grip so God can lead
• choosing obedience to God even when it hurts
• letting God carry the weight of what happens from here
• choosing to still see this day as a gift from God and thanking Him for the good parts
• trusting God to hold your hopes and dreams and bring them about in His way and in His timing
Release can sometimes feel like we simply let go of our desires and resign ourselves to whatever happens from here. Or like we let go of a loved one and watch them potentially free-fall off the cliff of their struggle. For a responsible person, this feels all kinds of wrong. And if that’s the mental picture we see when we think of release, it’s no wonder we still sometimes panic and rush back to try to control things again. But that doesn’t have to be the picture we see or the panic and guilt we carry. Instead, picture walking that person or that desire over to the Lord and, as you release your grip, the Lord opens His arms wide. You’re not just releasing it but surrendering this to the only One who can truly help from here.
And with relationships, that doesn’t necessarily mean you then walk away from the person you love. In some more serious or threatening situations, that may be the case. But most scenarios don’t have to be that extreme. You are releasing and surrendering that which is outside of your control, but you can still be a good steward of other aspects of this relationship.
Surrender in this case is not an act of irresponsibility, an admission of failure, or a demand that we stop caring. No, surrender is giving to God what only He can carry so we can be a faithful—responsible—steward of the parts we can carry. We can find the reassurance we need about surrendering people and circumstances to the Lord in Psalm 28:7:
The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and He helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise Him.
Excerpted with permission from Making Peace with What I Can’t Control by Lysa TerKeurst, copyright Lysa TerKeurst.
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Your Turn
Are you carrying the full weight of the outcome of that situation on your mind right now? What we need more than anything in thorny circumstances is to release them to God. He’s the One who can help. What do you need to release today? ~ Devotionals Daily
