You've tried everything to feel loved—relationships, attention, self-help, numbing out, starting over. But what if the very things you're reaching for are the things slowly breaking you?
With raw honesty and unexpected humor, comedian Carollynn Xavier tells the truth about what it looks like to chase love in all the wrong places—and what happens when you finally run out of options and turn to Christ.
A former atheist and self-proclaimed love addict, Carollynn spent years performing for approval, chasing connection, and trying to outrun the ache inside her. But every fix faded. Every distraction failed. And the deeper she went, the more alone she became—until she hit a breaking point that changed everything.
This isn't a polished, picture-perfect testimony. It's a story about what happens when Jesus meets you in the mess and doesn't leave you there.
In What's Killing You Won't Love You Back, Carollynn helps you:
- break free from toxic patterns, validation addiction, and emotional cycles that keep you stuck;
- let go of shame, loneliness, and the pressure to be "enough";
- stop performing for love and start receiving the love you've already been given;
- find real peace—not a quick fix, but a steady, anchored life in Christ.
With the sharp eye of a comedian and the honesty of someone who's lived it, Carollynn brings humor into the hard places—because healing isn't clean or linear. It's messy, surprising, and worth it.
If you're exhausted from pretending, stuck in patterns you can't break, or quietly wondering if anything will actually satisfy the ache inside you—this book is for you.
Because the love you've been looking for? It's not something you earn. It's Someone who comes to find you.
