Counting It Joy

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. — Romans 15:13

After years of disappointment, I (Kelley) had learned not to touch the mail. I knew better, and yet I grabbed the envelope from the stack of mail. There it was, the photo of a cute newborn with the words, “Meet our little bundle of joy!”

People often use that phrase to describe a baby, as though that is where joy is. Yes, a baby can bring joy to your life. So many things can spark joy within us — but they can’t be the ultimate source of joy in our lives.

Have you ever met someone who exudes joy, peace, love, and life in all they do? My beloved grandmother Martha was that kind of person. Her life was filled with trials and heartaches, but she seemed to experience joy in all situations. Martha’s life was a TED Talk example of joy. Even as her mind started to go, she remained steady and grateful to be alive, praising God. Her joy didn’t waver, and she was not easily rattled or stressed. Even in an unhappy situation, her peace remained.

What was her secret? What made her life and heart so different from others’?

• Jesus was the joy of her life.

Oftentimes, we look for immediate gratification and rescue from our problems in this outcome-driven world. We fall into the trap of seeing life as a simple formula: Do this; get that. Unfortunately, that perspective doesn’t lead to a fulfilling or joyful life.

• Our days of waiting for a baby can become consumed by all things baby and all the attempts we make to get a baby. But these efforts don’t necessarily bring forth joy or life for us.

Tracking and counting become our full-time job. We count fertility shots, medications, the time between intercourse, appointments, and home studies. These efforts make any feeling of happiness difficult, let alone the far-fetched concept of joy.

The truth is, the joy we need isn’t attached to an outcome.

The Source of Joy

Our understanding of joy and happiness has become complicated. They’re not the same, yet they are often used interchangeably (including in the Bible). Even now, my spell-check tries to do just that.

Our happiness tends to be based on a feeling attached to something — a situation, an outcome, an experience, or a fleeting moment. Happiness can be hard to maintain; it comes and goes similarly to how our emotions ebb and flow with our hormones. Joy, on the other hand, is steady and profound. It isn’t based on any circumstance we’re experiencing or not experiencing but is a state of being. Joy is based on a different formula and equation altogether.

• Joy isn’t just happiness; it’s happiness with roots.

The happiness we feel toward something good like a warm summer day or having a baby can’t be compared to the joy and pleasure of knowing God. He is the creator of all goodness, joy, and happiness we experience.

Psalm 16:11 confirms that the Lord is our joy.

In Your presence there is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore. — ESV

Abundant pleasure is at the right hand of God, where Jesus sits in Heaven.

I say to the Lord, ‘You are my Lord; apart from You I have no good thing’. — Psalm 16:2

This verse declares that there is no good, no life, no happiness or joy apart from the Lord. He is the essence, creator, perfector, and giver of joy.

Please know that joy does not mean the absence of sadness or pain. Instead, the beauty of joy is that it remains even during the hardship and aches of life. For example, have you ever been to a funeral with someone who has experienced grief yet they are also at peace, somehow full of assurance in their sadness? This is a picture of real joy, not like the facade many of us put on, saying, “I’m fine; it’s fine; everything’s fine.”

Only in Christ can we find complete joy. The shiny new car, perfect house, dream trip, or even the baby will never satisfy or be enough. John 15:11 describes overflowing joy like this: if we abide in Christ and keep His commandments, then His joy will be in us, and our joy will be full. The verses right beforehand give us the key to this overflowing joy:

I have loved you just as the Father has loved Me; remain in My love [and do not doubt My love for you]. — John 15:9 AMP

In Jesus’ love for us, we can have joy that is complete and overflows.

An Invaluable Opportunity

I’ve seen how joy can be developed and gained during experiences when we are pulled and stretched, and our faith is needed. The Message version of James 1:3 says,

You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors.

Thank you, James, for being so honest and direct to the early Christians, who were scattered due to hard times. In the Amplified version, the command in James 1:2–3 is translated as

Consider it nothing but joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you fall into various trials. Be assured that the testing of your faith [through experience] produces endurance [leading to spiritual maturity, and inner peace].

James’s goal was to get Christians to reevaluate the way we see trials.

Then in verse 4, he shared the reason:

Let endurance have its perfect result and do a thorough work, so that you may be perfect and completely developed [in your faith], lacking in nothing. — AMP

The Message version says,

Don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.

As much as we fight it, it’s okay to be in hard spaces; James said these difficulties are working in us.

Allow this trial to have its thorough work in you, knowing it will develop your faith. You’re in the challenging process of maturing.

As Christians, we can view hardship and suffering differently. But how can we change this thinking in the middle of pain? First, hard times should not come as a surprise to us. James reminded us to consider it joy whenever we face trials — they were assumed because he knew we would face troubles. James knew we would need the inner peace and spiritual maturity that counting it all joy can lead to.

It’s interesting that in Hebrew, consider means “to lead the way” or “turn over in one’s mind,”1 proving that our minds lead the way to pure joy and are an intricate and active part of our faith. Therefore, what we think shapes what we believe.

Once we recognize our hardship is not a curse and we are not victims, we can decide to shift our mindset toward rejoicing and believing that hardship is an opportunity. If we allow hard times to have their work in us, our perseverance will keep us from rushing out of them before God’s willed timing for us. Instead, we are best developed through our trials, making us more complete and like Christ.

I understand this sounds impossible. However, I assume you are daily pleading for your fertility struggles to end. Like me, you’ve probably said something like, “Haven’t I had enough yet, God? Can this be done, please?”

I implore you not to take your eyes off of the Lord, no matter how long it’s been or how far you’ve walked away from Him. He is never far, and you are never too far gone. Jesus is the author and perfecter of your faith (Hebrews 12:2). He will provide the perseverance you need.

Pray

Lord God, I’m waiting for You. Even though I’ve had to suffer grief now, I know You’re using each bit of it to grow my faith. May this painful journey result in my seeing more of You, praising You, and giving You more glory and honor. Though I can’t understand what You are doing right now, may I trust You, love You, and believe in You, Father. Thank You that Your presence fills me with unexplainable joy. You bring me hope, God, by who You are.

Act

Joy is found in our faith that God is working in us. Each day, challenge yourself to find one thing that brings you joy and write it on a sticky note. For example, take note of the sun shining on you, reminding you God created it to bring you warmth and light. Invite your husband to join you in doing this activity.

1. Hebrew–English Dictionary, s.v., “consider,” https://hebrew.english-dictionary.help/english-to-hebrew-meaning-consider.

Excerpted with permission from Waiting in Hope by Kelley Ramsey and Jenn Hesse, copyright Kelley Ramsey and Jenn Hesse.

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Your Turn

Do you believe God can give you joy even amid your waiting season, even amid your trial, and even amid infertility? How has waiting stretched your faith and matured you? In what ways have you persevered? Come share with us! ~ Laurie McClure, Faith.Full